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Frequently Enough Asked Questions
Everything you ever wanted to know about Essex but were afraid to ask.
∝ What the heck is a "Semper Bufo"?
Just two words I've really dug since I was a kid. Semper Bufo is the family motto of Mister Toad in Kenneth Grahame's The Wind in the Willows. It's Latin for "always toad." So Toad believes in being the Toadest Toad he can be, at all times, the Quintessential Toad. I'm the me-est me I can be, at all times, the Quintessential me. I'll bet I'm a lot me-er than you. You're probably not me at all. But you could certainly be the you-est you. And that's cool.
∝ What is Halleran Technology Solutions?
That's the consulting company of my long-time partner, collaborator and friend, Tom Halleran. If you want hosting or other tech services, we can help you out — check out his site for details.
∝ What exactly is your name?
Geoph Essex. For performance purposes (acting and music), I'm Jeff Essex, because I've run into enough casting directors who are inexplicably incapable of pronouncing "Geoph" the way it's kind of obviously pronounced. The story of my name is long and involved and not really worth going into right now. Though it does involve lasers and a surprising number of giraffes, so it's pretty exciting. You're totally missing out.
∝ Where are you from?
∝ No, where are you from originally?
∝ Where can I find your résumé?
While I'm not entirely sure what a résumé of impressive clients and roles and titles can tell you that the actual work displayed throughout my site can't, I promise the links aren't hiding. You can find them just above my contact form (over on the left) on any page of my site. You can specifically download my acting résumé, my creative résumé (for game development and 3D), or my general résumé for creative and technical consulting.
∝ Are you available for hire?
Do you like to pay people fair fees for expertise and great work? Our answers will be eerily parallel.
∝ Are you hiring?
I'm a one-man operation, so...no. Unless you're me. In which case, welcome aboard. You start Monday.
∝ Who did your website?
A team of highly trained gnomes with pneumatic technology and really cool sunglasses.
Nah, it was me.
The gnomes mostly just crashed on my foldout, drank grape soda, and maintained their fantasy football teams. I don't recommend hiring them.
∝ Why can't I see your video or audio?
Probably because you don't have the latest browser and/or Flash plugins. (Or your system doesn't do Flash, like some mobile devices.) Go ahead and upgrade. I'll be here when you get back.
Also, avoid using Internet Explorer. At all, I mean.
∝ How do I look at your stuff?
You can just click the links on top, then click one of the various circular thumbnails displayed on the page to look at that piece in detail.
If you want to get fancy, use the filters — the top row is for the type of work (medium, tools, and so on), and the bottom row is for genres, styles, subjects, industries, and so forth. There's an easy guide up there on the left, above my contact form.
∝ What are your [rates / hours / turnaround times / political opinions / measurements / whatever]?
There's no such thing as a "standard" rate — I'm not selling hot dogs, here. And if I were, it would depend on what you wanted on them. And in them. Just get in touch — my contact form is on the left, below the navigation guide.
As for the rest: all of them, fast, I'm against them, metric, exactly. In that order.